#and i love you :)

[gunpowdertimdrakestoker]

Growing up, I loved being a girl. I loved dresses and skirts and the plastic high-heels and wearing mums makeup and wearing nail polish. I loved being a little princess and being a little girl.

When I was 12, I met my best friend. They then identified as a trans boy. They introduced me to the idea of being queer.

I came out as bi shortly after, thinking I had a crush on them. My parents were incredibly supportive and even supported looking further into my sexuality and my coming out as a lesbian.

But my friend also introduced me to the idea of being trans. I was 12 when I was looking into a mirror and deciding I hated my breasts. I didn’t know what to feel. I was scared of being a boy and everything that came with it. I decided I was nonbinary.

The four years following involved me exploring my sexuality and gender. Bi, pan, lesbian, aromantic. Nonbinary, demigirl, demigender, genderfluid, genderqueer. Never truly accepting that I could be a boy.

It hit me in the middle of a dream. My brother called me his brother and I had this “oh” moment. Oh, I’m a trans man. Not transmasc, not sometimes a boy. A trans man. And as a trans man, the lesbian label no longer made me comfortable. I looked deep into myself and found myself unable to authentically see myself dating a man or a woman. Aroace.

I’m an aroace trans man.

It’s taken four years of confusion, name changes and experimentation to come to this conclusion. For some it can be a couple of months. For some it can be years longer. Some people never figure it out.

No matter how long it takes you to come to terms with your identity, you are valid. It doesn’t matter if you keep changing your name every couple of weeks or months, I know I did, and I still might. It doesn’t matter if you change your label every day. It doesn’t matter if you never label yourself.

You are valid. Your experience is valid. Your identity is valid.

I see you. And I love you.

I’m still not certain on my identity but that is part of growing and changing as a teenager. I’ll get there one day. And you will too. No matter your age or experiences. I believe in you.

[spongynova]

Some WIP because kissing your captain against a wall is one way to deal with the away mission after effects!

[calmmyfears]

Sometimes I don't feel brave or strong, but then I remember that the bravest thing someone with chronic illness can do is to keep living and not give up on themselves.

[brewed-pangolin]

A million thank you's to the amazing @temeyes for bringing the enthusiastic menace that is Gym Rat Soap to life.

I can not begin to tell you how much I'm in absolute LOVE with this depiction of him.

I may let loose some very (VERY) NSFW Gym Rat Soap imagines/drabbles that embody Soap MacTavish from the game. But before he graces your screens and steals the spotlight of my inspiration, this is how he appears in my head.

Bouncing around like a madman while I'm trying to maintain some semblance of sanity.

And now he will forever be my snicker (attention) needing gremlin. Powerlifiting his way through the walls of my subconscious until I finally feed him and let him loose onto the unsuspecting Soap Squad.

So much love to you, Tim! 💛

[hookliner]

him calling me good boy is so %*#+#$¥

do it again (please) see what happens (me begging)

[teddybeartoji]

OHKYGUD MICKEY I READ SOMETHING A WHILE AGO AND I NEEED TO SHARE THIS THOUGHT IVE HAD idk if its WEIRD BUT SOMETHING ABOUT EMPTY THREATS FROM SOMEONE WHO COULD TOTALLY DO IT REALLY MAKES MY BRAIN VIBRSTE

having sex with a feral toji who hasn’t seen u in soooo long and he’s finally able to see u and touch u and the man loses it, fucking you into the couch. but he gets a call and he has to answer it, it’ll be the money he needs so he doesn’t have to leave your side for several months.

but he’s just absolutely gone, and he presses you into the couch more by your neck as you look up at him and he just quietly hisses “y’ make a single noise an’ I’ll kill you.” his hand tightens a bit on ur neck as he fucks into deeper

“don’t fuckin mess this up f’ me doll, I wanna live with you like ur my little house wife, s’ make any noise and mess it all up for me, an’ I’ll fuckin’ kill you”

🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴PLSSSSSSS I IMAGINE HIM SAYING IT WITH LIKE A SEXY LITTLE SMIRK TOOOOO FFFFUUUUUCKKK HE'S SOOO DEEP INSIDE YOUUU HITTING THST SWEET SPOT OF YOURS WHILE TALKING ON THE PHONE AND IT JUST GETS HIM SOOOOOOSOOO HARDDD YEAHYEAHYEAAHHHHHH AND MAYBE HE SAYS IT WHILE PRESSING A HASTE, SLOPPY KISS TO YOUR CHEEK HM????????? FFFFFFUKFUCKUFUUKCKKKK🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴

[poems-of-the-anentomologist]

It’s Not Love

It’s not love

Oh it’s not love

On the surface here

But peel it back

It’s love

Just not the love

You like

The love you can’t

Fit into a box

Some say it’s not love

But it is

It’s the purest form of love there is

And it’s not love

[whistlepen]

penelope is so powerful that even when he’s mad at her colin can’t move more than 3 feet away!!! i would laugh but i might just cry

[lifemod17]

The first sunset of October

[sirkassandra]

“Go make sure she’s alright”

Season 3 Ep 4: Coda

[existennialmemes]

Hey, I know it's getting bad again, but please remember that healing is not linear.

You are not "losing" your progress just because you're struggling to do something today that you could do with ease a month ago.

You're not the same you from a month ago.

The seasons change, your stressors change, your ability to cope changes. That's part of the process, not a departure from it.

So please, be gentle with yourself. You are in the Ebb, but I promise you will see the Flow again.

Do not berate yourself. Let yourself be where you are. Offer yourself what comfort you can.

I know this is so hard, but please trust that hitting dips is part of climbing the mountain. It doesn't mean you're going the wrong way.

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

I just want to say that, guys

For the past, uh *counting on fingers* four-ish months that I've been on Tumblr, which I have seen many refer to as "this hellsite"

(which I also have, affectionately)

I'm actually pretty sure this is about as close to any depiction of "heaven" as it gets in our mortal world. Particularly on the internet.

Like.

I've been able to simp here with no restraint.

Able to post fan fiction and headcanons and experiment with digital art and just be silly and have fun and be myself without concern.

I've been able to just enjoy things, without any anxiety.

Without any anxiety.

Being that I've lived pretty much my entire life dealing with crippling anxiety about literally everything, that's kind of a huge thing for me.

I have no anxiety about posting anything here. None. At all. It's weird af, but it's weird in the best way.

I have actual confidence here, which I've really never had before in my life, and it's nice.

So to everyone that's been here with me over the course of the past few months, to everyone that's been kind, everyone that's been understanding and accepting and just overall wonderful:

Thank you.

So, so much.

You're wonderful. You deserve nothing but wonderful things. I hope that your life is and continues to be as wonderful as you are.

[thepoisonofthepaint]

if you recognize this location you’re mentally ill

[vanwizard]

how it feels redownloading the tumblr app & refollowing my mutuals after yet another I’m Gonna Disappear From The Internet breakdown

[marsapolis]

+° . ๑・° ⊹ . + ° . ๑・° ⊹ . + ° . ๑・° ⊹ . + ° . ๑・° +° .

"while the mountains sang their songs for me

and i was carrying their tune

we gorged ourselves on strawberries

telling stories of our youth

then the sun shone its gospel down

we were soaking it all in

the wind comes and cools our skin

that's when the leaves would start listening"

-a song i wrote about chilling with my grandma

+° . ๑・° ⊹ . + ° . ๑・° ⊹ . + ° . ๑・° ⊹ . + ° . ๑・° +° .

i'm back home!! regularly scheduled updates will be back on track tomorrow night :) thank you to everyone for your patience. also hello to all the new followers :D we've got over 70 people in the family now!!! im thinking of posting house inspo so we can pretend we all live together. but seriously though i really appreciate every single one of you, you've all been so amazing :) love you mwah<3

+° . ๑・° ⊹ . + ° . ๑・° ⊹ . + ° . ๑・° ⊹ . + ° . ๑・° +° .